When I Look At The World
by Vampy
Summary: Vegeta thinks about his life... Or better yet... His perspective on the world... FINISHED!!!
1. Default Chapter

WHEN I LOOK AT THE WORLD  
By Vampy

Hiya people, I've finally finished "When I look at the world" and I hope you'll enjoy it. The story is also combined into one chapter, that's the reason why I'm using this spare chapter as an introduction. Appearently you can't delete chapters without losing any reviews.   
And I LOVE reviews... so....

Anyway go read the story! That's what you came here for!!!

;) V.


	2. When I Look At The World

WHEN I LOOK AT THE WORLD  
By Vampy

_ Summary: Vegeta thinks about his life... Or better yet... His perspective on the world...  
Rate: PG-13 for swearing  
Genre: General  
AN: "When I Look At The World" is a song of U2 of the album "All That You Can't Leave Behind"._

_~On with the story, enjoy!~_

There comes a time in life when you look back to the things you've done..  
and ask yourself....  
Why the fuck has everything turned out wrong!?!  
  
I mean... For example... I came here on earth to gather the DragonballZ and/or defeat Piccolo for killing Raditz and/or destroy that mud ball also known as earth.   
  
To begin with, I never even got my hands on the DragonballZ, Piccolo got killed, but was wished back soon after... And that mudball... Not alone is it still out there. NOOoo, I even live on the damn thing and defend it from harm!   
I have one screwed up life! And that is a fact!   
Can't twist or turn cold, hard facts... But that's okay... I'm cold and hard too. I'm tough! and above all, I'm the prince of all Saiyans!   
....   
Yet there is another flaw of my miserable life.... I can call myself prince of Saiyans all I want and it might seem impressive to you, but there's only one Saiyan besides me and he happens to live on the same mud ball as I do, which we both protect since our mates and children were borne and raised here...   
So I really don't have no kingdom anymore.   
I'm no prince... Hn... Never thought you'd hear me say that, huh? But I just did. Because it's the truth. I couldn't order a Ningen to do my laundry without using my superior strength. Well... At least I got Bulma a little housetrained. And my children respect me... to a certain point... It mostly depends on their mood... Not very often... Like I said, I'm calling myself a prince... But really, it's all one big lie.   
  
Now I know someone... Someone who would be able to wind all these earth people around his little finger and would get away with it too.   
I truly despise him for that. He's not only my biggest rival, the only one stronger than me, but he's also the only one left of my race.   
And he is better than me!   
Kakkarot.   
Or "Goku" as the Ningens would like to call him. Hell! He even calls himself that way... Son Goku.   
He would be a disgrace for the Saiyan race. Not only by ignoring his Saiyan name, but also without his Saiyan instincts... We Saiyans were supposed to have a destructive urge to kill things... Well... a craving to draw blood at least... But Kakkarot... Well he settles with just fighting and training. And he's damn good at it too. Damn him! The prince of Saiyans should've been able to defeat a low class baka as him. But he defeated me! ME! And instead of killing me he spared my miserable life. ... I still can't believe it. Why'd he do it?   
Why?  
  
Well actually I know why... He wanted to show me mercy.   
He showed me, the prince of Saiyans, mercy.   
Can you believe that? I certainly can't.   
  
If I had been in his place I wouldn't have needed a second to think. Boldy's sword would've neatly separated head from body to fall to the ground with a sickening thud.   
But Goku showed me mercy. How un-Saiyan of him. And how grateful I've eventually become. Don't get me wrong here, I love my life (most of the time) but it also sucks. Everybody knows that. Life does sucks, maybe not all the time, but a lot none the less.   
  
I know just one somebody who doesn't know that yet. Someone who hasn't found out yet that life sucks.   
Someone who has defeated me, showed me mercy and got away with it.   
Kakkarot.   
Again, that blasted low class baka. He is so oblivious to some things... So incredibly naive. So good trusting in everyone, stranger and especially friend.   
And that includes me you know.... He sees me, Vegeta, prince of Saiyans, as one of his best friends. Not that I see him as a friend but I do respect him in a way. Not that I'll ever admit that to anyone... Hell no! But I do anyway.   
I wish I could say that someone's opinion doesn't matter to me. But I can't. I do not care what they think about me, as long as it doesn't involve something like weakness. And weakness involves all feelings I might have against a certain individual.   
Like for example, respect towards the almost brain dead Saiyan that could easily defeat me.   
It is sooo humiliating... Goku is not the smartest man in the world (and that's an huge understatement) but he is the best at martial arts.   
I think I've finally figured him out though. The individual called Goku. The one who's better then me. The last of my race. The strongest guy in the universe. My biggest rival. The one who lives without a worry in the world. The one that defeated me and showed me mercy. Who showed ME mercy.   
  
He's so perfect because... ...because he just is. 

**_When you look at the world  
What is it that you see?  
People find all kinds of things  
That bring them to their knees  
I see an expression  
So clear and so true  
That is changes the atmostphere  
When you walk into the room_**

I can't beat him. I can't stand him. I can't hate him...   
And it only makes things worst! It would be so easy to just hate him, like I do with everything else. Stupid baka.  
I do hate him! I hate him for being stronger... I hate him for not letting me hate him, I hate him for that! How he can just act as if I'm his best friend, when I'm not!!  
....   
I'm not... Right?  
Oh... I hate him for making me confused... And I hate him for never getting confused...   
well over relations that is. He never doubted that I was his friend. He just assumed it and that was the end of it. Not me, not an entire Ginue force and all the evil in this universe could change that. And I hate it! Even more so because I also admire that too.  
Yes. God damn it! I admire him for... for... for bein' him!  
Oh Kami, that does sound stupid? Hell I even begin to think that I'm starting to sound pathetic. But it's true. His life is sooo easy, because he simply doesn't worry. He wouldn't have even cared if I was the one stronger then him... He would've just accepted it.   
And that's something I'll never be able to do... I will just keep on training until I'm finally stronger.  
Why? Because it's all I have to look forward too.   
Be better then Goku, beat him!   
...  
And then what?  
I don't know... There is nothing after that. Absolutely nothing after that!   
I've got the stupidest thing. I don't have a proper purpose to be alive...  
Goku has. I can see it in him everyday... It's called love.   
It's really simple though....  
I didn't get it at first... But now I do. I'll explain it to you.  
He loves people and people love him back because of it, and everybody on this mudball does the same.   
Everybody except me...  
I've only got my hate. It's what keeps me going and it's what keeps me safe. I wouldn't want it any other way... Or so I would've said before I got accustomed on this godforsaken piece of earth.   
  
Yeah... I live here now... And I know how this world works... I now how the people think.   
And besides that I know who I am. I've already told you that... I'm a nobody.   
Okay... A strong Nobody. But a nobody non the less. I'm just one head amongst the crowed. And you know what? That's how it's suposed to be, that's this planets way of living. Were' all equals....  
  
Like HELL we're not!!!  
  
But then again... that's my opinion. And it's lost among the crowd. Fallen on deaf ears. And now finally I've even begun to think it was pretty stupid myself.   
This place has corrupted me beyond recognition. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it. In fact there's not a damn thing I want to do about it either.  
  
It's hard to describe. But I've always been an outcast. Sure... A royal outcast, but an outcast non the less.   
My people had long ago perished along with our world and I didn't have anything to rule over. All I was, was Frieza's little pet. And all I had to do was purge planets...  
When I fist came to earth things didn't change. Sure I got a good whiff of freedom from that Kakarot. Because maybe, just maybe, the two of us could've defeated Frieza. But he instead chose the side of "good" and defeated me in order to safe the earth from my wrath.   
I went home that day with the knowledge that there wasn't just one person I had to defeat but TWO.   
One was my so called "Wanna-be-and-thus-is-master" and the other was my "loyal" and only subject left. Kakarot.  
It was really ironic that Kakarot defeated Frieza... And though I thought it wouldn't've mattered that much in the past. I know now that my life would've been more of a hell if it had been the other way around.  
  
Yes... though I would never ever admit it to anyone. I'm actually happy here. Not happy-happy. But sorta happy.  
This is my home. I have people here who I eh.... sorta... appreciate... and I have an offspring here. And week as they are I should probably look out after them for the rest of their lives... Ignorant brats...  
  
But you know what? Though I will continue to complain on the outside, I don't hardly mind it as much as I did when I was still... Well... an arrogant evil bastard.   
Those are not mine words mind you... Those are words that I learned from my stay on this mudball.   
And with those words I learned in time that I didn't want to be that arrogant evil bastard. 

_**So I try to be like you  
Try to feel it like you do  
But without you it's no use  
I can't see what you see  
When I look at the world**_

I'm not evil anymore... I know that for sure. Defended this earth from harm too many times to count as something like evil. But it's my personality that give me the most problems... Everybody still thinks I'm an arrogant bastard. Even Bulma...  
Sure maybe she only calls me that when she's angry, and she's angry a lot... But I also know that still deep inside she thinks I really am that. An arrogant bastard.  
She clearly so told me that when I once refused to go to an party at that old guys house... I simply told her I had better things to do and then she explained to me, that no matter what I would do. I would always be an arrogant bastard.   
...  
Of course... Ten minutes later I was in the car on my way to that damn party just to prove her wrong. The second I entered the car I knew she had already won what she was really after, but my pride let me forget about that little detail.   
Yes... That woman can make me do almost anything, if she just really thought about a strategy.   
But not even she could've made me have fun on that party.   
Nope I just spend the entire evening leaning against a wall and watching the others have fun.   
I truly felt like an outcast then... But the strangest thing happened.......  
  
I had my first more-then-two-minutes conversation with Kakarot...   
He asked me why I wasn't enjoying myself.. and he told me I had to loosen up a bit.   
At the moment I couldn't have done a single thing but stare at him for such a... stupid conversation. But any other time I simply would've awarded him with a well placed punch... Of course if it hit the mark was always a wonder... I sure as hell know that non of my hateful remarks ever came trough...  
That night he also didn't get any hints I was giving him with my warn full stares. But he just kept on babbling. I don't know about what precisely... But he just kept going for a few minutes... Something about Bra I remembered and about Trunks and Goten reaching new powerlevels... The words didn't impress so much though... It was the feeling I got. While Kakarot was talking... I felt as if I was as normal as the rest... I looked around and it proved my theory. Everybody was chattering and laughing and... It made me think...   
Eventually Kakarot just stopped talking. And asked me if I wasn't thirsty or anything... I shook my head. And he finally let me be.

The stupidest thing is... I was indeed thirsty but it never even occured to me that he could get me a drink. He nor anyone!  
I spend the entire evening leaning against that same wall, wearing my standard scowl being thirsty as hell. And with the conversation burned in my mind...   
  
  


___**When the night is someone else's  
And you're trying to get some sleep  
When your thoughts are too expensive  
To ever want to keep  
When there's all kinds of chaos  
And everyone is walking lame  
You don't even blink now, do you  
Or even look away.**_

I can't help but shake my head. Sometimes I wish I could just rid my mind off of these thoughts. What am I thinking? 

Oh... I know... I'm thinking of a better life.

Maybe I should really try to be more like Goku, you know, lighten up a little, act like I don't have a care in the world. He still is a Saiyan, so I should be able to act like him.... Eventually people will accept me, just like they have accepted Goku.

Who am I kidding? I won't even last a second.   
I don't even think people will actually believe in my "suddenly-went-good" act. I'ts just not in my nature. But still...  
I'm so tired of this life. Tired of being alone and by my self. Nobody who shares my opinion, except for that brainless baka... Why can't I be normal?

Okay, so I ruined the chance of being accepted as a friend (or what ever I want that should happen) a long time ago. Probable around the time that I tried to fry this planet and crushed both of Goku's legs...  
What can I do to make that up, just say: 'I'm sorry I tried to destroy this planet and kill you all.'   
Not a chance!!

They would never accept me, for who I am. They simply can't understand me. Or perhaps it's the otherway around. And it is me, who can't understand them?  
I don't know, but I do know that a prince of whatever kind should not be forced into changing who he is 'just to fit in'. That's just a sign of bad character and thus would imply that I wouldn't have been a great king.

But I'll never be king, so I can't use that as an excuse. Besides no one expects me to behave like one either...   
Then why am I still doing it? It sure as hell, isn't to honor my people. It's probably just because I'm to stubborn, to stubborn to let go so easily. To stubborn to addmit I'm all alone, I truely am the last true Saiyan. Kakarot may be fullblooded, but he doesn't know the ways of the Saiyans... So I am the last. And when I'm dead, the Saiyan race will be history. Forgotten and gone. Done for...

At least I will have found peace at last. And maybe be amoung my kin once again. It would be nice to see a Saiyan act like a Saiyan for a change...  
But death isn't the solluctian here. I have to make a change, here and now.

___**So I try to be like you  
Try to feel it like you do  
But without you it's no use  
I can't see what you see  
When I look at the world**_

I've been here on this mudball for years... I tried to fit in. I've got a family and I try not to kill anyone these days... But still... I won't fit in. I should probable hit my head first and get amnesia to finally fit in on this world, just like that brainless baka did. But I'm not planning on doing that. So besides a bump on the head I have exactly what Kakkarot has. Everything! And I'm still not being accepted. I could just kill them all for just that, but I won't, so I have even lost my Saiyan instincts too. Isn't that enough?!? No it's not. They don't care if I don't kill them of not. If I do try and kill them they'll know that Goku will prevent it. And that brings us back to the fact that I can't beat him.

Now I hear you think. Would you kill everybody if you could defeat Goku?

I would've said yes without a doubt... Several years ago, that is. Now... If I must really be honest to myself.... No. 

I guess those days are over. I'm done with that, the whole kill for fun aspect, create chaos and raise terror around the world and let them fear me as they fair death itself... I'm really done with that. You eventually get tired of things and then you want something else. Just like I do right now...

And I've been here for years! I have a family. A burden more likely but a family non the less. And I can't wait any longer... There's something that baka has besides strength that I don't have.  
  
I really can't wait until I can beat him, I want a life now!!!

_**I can't wait any longer  
I can't wait till I'm stronger  
Can't wait any longer  
To see what you see  
When I look at the world**_

Maybe I have to change my attitude... Think about these Ningens feelings... Give up the Saiyan prince crap which is worthless anyway. Maybe people will...  


Huh? What's that?  
I look around the room for a few seconds before I realize it's just the phone. I turn the screen on... and surprise, surprise it's Bulma... 

"Hey Vegeta! I'm just calling to tell you I'm not coming home today."

"Huh? Why woman? You always come home each day..." I hope she'll just give me a straight answer, but sometimes she just goes on and on in circles...

"I want to be there for ChiChi, you see, Goku's in the hospital. Hey, Vegeta why are you still in the bedroom? Don't tell me you've been sleeping all day?" 

"Uh... No...."

"Oi... When I'm not around... Never mind. There's something in the fridge you can eat. Go eat it."

"Fine..."

"Fine!"  
  
"Be gone woman."  
  
"No Vegy, you first..."  
  
I hang up before she can utter another nonsense word. Sometimes I really wonder if she's a hundred per cent healthy (in her mind that is). But she is right. I've been hanging around far long enough. And all this thinking isn't getting me anywhere, so I should just go get up and train or something. Yes... I'll go train. A few seconds later I'm up and heading for the gravity chamber.

But before I've even set ten steps I stop and head the other way. Sometimes I should really pay more attention to what I'm thinking. 

I want a change! Not go back to my old routine. So I'm outside... trying to remember if I know where the hospital is, or if I should just find their ki's. 

_**I'm in the waiting room  
Can't see for the smoke  
I think of you and your holy book  
While the rest of us choke**_

I've never been at a hospital before. And thinking about it. I've never even walked trough a public entrance like this. The most remarkable is that nobody even cares I'm here, walking trough the entrance of this hospital. Okay some people look up to me but then they go on with their own businesses. Truly remarkable. 

The woman at the desk asks me how she can help me. And I ask here if she knows where I can find Son Goku. I almost asked for Kakkarot. But I didn't. A few seconds later I'm on my way to a certain number on the third floor. 

Having asked a few times where that damned number is, I finally find it and open the door softly. They're all inside. Bulma, the old guy, Kakkarot's wife, his sons, Boldy and Kakkarot himself. They haven't heard me come in. And that's fine. I'll just stick to the shadows here and wait. 

I can see that Kakkarot is a bit battered up but for the rest he seems okay. I wonder what got him here, probably his wife.

Apparently I'm not the only one who wants to know what happened because Gohan suddenly yells if someone wants to explain what happened. The kid rarely loses his calm but he's also very fond of his father. Having lost him time and time again must have made him realize that. We just got lucky that Goku could come back each time.

ChiChi, turns to her son with her hands on her hip. She seems quite upset. "You're father... " Yep she's upset... "Decided that because the powerplant blew up he could just walk in and safe people without protection against the radiations. He nearly got himself killed!!" 

Goten tugged on her shirt, trying to get her attention... "Uh mom, the doctor already said he was fine, and that he could leave in a few hours..."

"Don't you think I don't know that!?!" Goten quickly sought solace behind Gohans back. "That doesn't give him the right to just go and do as he likes. He could've gotten himself hurt!"   
After all the yelling her face finally falters and she starts to tremble. Bulma smiles and walks up to her.

"Come on ChiChi, you know he's alright, and he will promise not to do something like that again, right Goku?"

Goku nods enthusiastic. "Right ChiChi, I'm sorry I got you worried... Forgive me?" 

At this ChiChi smiles and hugs Goku tightly. 

I realize that we truly are pathetic... He'd give each and everyone of us his undivided attention, he'd give his life without even a blink. He would gather the Dragonballz just to make someone happy.  
  
He truly is remarkable.  
  
And I'm lower then the filth I walk on. 

_**Tell me, tell me, what do you see?  
Tell me, tell me, what's wrong with me?**_

Though I'm once again lost in my own thoughts, as I've done a lot this day, I suddenly notice I'm not being unnoticed. I look up and see that Goku's looking at me. I perch an eyebrow. What does he want to know, I'm just here, nothing special about that... 

He just grins and then says: "Had you worried there, didn't I 'Geta?"  
  
"Hn.. Yeah you did..." And I smile. I can't help it.... I'm amused by his innocence... And hearing from the gasps of Kakarot's friends they finally see me standing here too. I don't care what they think though... 

I've got every right to be here, and I have every right to act the way I want to act.

And I know now that I'll never be like Goku... so carefree and noble. 

But at least I can be myself...  


  
ThE eNd


End file.
